*FENCES

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fences

Let there be trust

To know that you will be caught

Let the fences begone

To allow for all that is to come

plugin&play Music saves our souls
If you let me, I'd show you how to build your fences navigations are the fours lines of lyrics. they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).	Thursday, May 31, 2012, 10:14 AM Taz Sometimes... I wake up and I can't shake this feeling off. The feeling of just plain wishing that things were different. That things were the same again. I wish to bring back the happier times... the easy laughs and smiles. The wanting to be with one another and the unconditional love. It's hard looking at someone, and wanting them back in your life so much, that it physically hurts. Because while they make you and your heart smile, you're reminded that things are different and that's something that though you look past, they can't. And then I'm just sad. Sad being reminded that they no longer love me like they used to. Sad knowing that one day, I stand to lose them completely because they don't seem to see what I see. Sad seeing how hesitant... how uncomfortable this girl who once treated me like an extension of herself is with me now. Then I remember the times at which she would invite me to everything with her. Not because she had to... but because she genuinely wanted to spend it with me. One can't really explain how elated you can feel when someone brings you into their life like that and shares it with you. And then... one day it's gone. But yet... I would still do that for her. Because though she no longer feels the same... she's still the person that I would like to be able to share my experiences with. I remember waiting for each other in the mornings. I remember wanting to do so just because. I remember butterflies, excitement. And now... now all I can do is put on a fake smile and tell myself that it's ok that she's moved on. And today... today I tell myself that I will survive the day. The optimist in me believes in soul mates. People who are driven back to each other no matter how hard the situation. The first person that you think about when you're having fun or the first person you wished would come when you're sad. The person whose mere presence makes you feel secure. And there have been days... in which I wished I didn't feel that way about her. There are days in which I'm so sad and angry that I don't think I can do it anymore. Kim told me once... "with people I don't like, it's not that they're bad people... they just bring me down and I choose to not be around them". So what happens when you're put in a situation where you have to work with someone whom you feel so strongly against, there have been days you wished they never existed? Friday, May 25, 2012, 1:15 AM Taz And I'm glad you got to meet her. Even if it's probably going to be the one and only time. And I'm glad you both loved each other. These are things that make me smile. One of the things I really wanted to do was have my family meet her. To let them see the person I fell in love with and have them see for themselves, why I did fall. To have them meet her with nothing but the best having been said, with all conversations about her ending up with that smile that I couldn't just wipe off. But every time I walked away, I just felt empty. I just feel like breaking down because I knew that everything had changed. I knew that she had changed, and I knew that things were different. Nothing like feeling like you caused everything that had happened when realistically... that was all your own undoing. To be reminded every day that she has a goal in plan and the only way to do so is to sacrifice. And it's hard to swallow when you're one of the sacrifices. If it's important enough, you find a way. And thus... I know I'm not important enough, and that's something I have to come to terms with. Only certain people get to meet the fam'. Meet them and actually get to know them and not just in passing. And so far... you've been the only person that meant that much to me. And you just don't see it. Everything's an assault with you... but you just... don't see it. You didn't see how important it was to me to not have to feel like all this just resolved you needing to get away from me especially after I brought you into the family like that. You didn't see how I hated how much you could just justify everything you did and make it seem that it was ok. I will not go remembering how poorly I treated the people in my life. Monday, May 07, 2012, 4:14 PM Taz It's an odd thing... in which you question why you would offer to be nice. And then you realize... that regardless of how much you disrespected someone, regardless of how much you disliked a person... at the end of the day... if this person will make her happy... so be it. If we have to sacrifice one persons' feelings, let it be mine. I'm not doing it for her, never in a million years. But for me... I might not want to ever see her, but I'm not petty. And the strangest thing is... parts of me wished that I could be angry enough to call it a day. To cut my losses like everyone has tried to tell me. No one deserves the disrespect, the immaturity of needing to have everything the way you want nor the heartlessness. Life lessons. To remember all those times I relented to spare you, and to have you turn around and do the same things that you said you wouldn't. To realize how unfair it was and how one-sided it has always been. And that's not denying that you don't care about me. I know you do in your own way. But sometimes it feels like you do it so that you have something on me the next time we argue cause it always gets brought up. And I'm not going to play that game with you in which I bring up what I've done because I wanted to and was happy to do them for you. You learn quickly who's in it for themselves. And the more I see through the facade and who you're hiding behind, my respect wavers. And as we all know... respect is huge with me. As with dedication and commitment. You're not allowed to complain if you don't expend the effort. And as I break for the umpteenth time... I know she won't be there to pick me up. But worst of all, I know that if she ever needs me, I would be there for her. And yes, half the time, I do think you're a horrible person. For consciously choosing to hurt someone... you live with the guilt of having done so. And I know forgiving yourself is important, but if you use that as justification and ignore your wrongs. These vices one day become your virtues and you become worse off as a person.			thedeceptionist While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive. Taz. 24. Current SFU-er. Tendency to be odd. Does not believe in conflict. Committed, in love and heartbroken. <3 theillustionist Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one. Tzen. 24. February 24th. Hyperactive, but adorable Nottingham grad. Workaholic!		partnersincrime A Krysie B Qin C Duckie D Chee E sY F Theo G Lesley H Kenny Sia wheni'mgone + June 2006 + October 2006 + May 2007 + April 2008 + May 2008 + June 2008 + October 2008 + November 2008 + December 2008 + January 2009 + February 2009 + September 2009 + March 2010 + April 2010 + May 2010 + June 2010 + July 2010 + August 2010 + October 2010 + December 2010 + February 2011 + May 2011 + July 2011 + August 2011 + September 2011 + October 2011 + November 2011 + December 2011 + January 2012 + February 2012 + March 2012 + April 2012 + May 2012 + July 2012 + August 2012 + September 2012 takeabow designer: venom ous inspiration: ++		theventingmachine Some opportunities only come once, seize them. If you don't like something, change it. Life is short, so don't live in the shadows of your fears.