*FENCES

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fences

Let there be trust

To know that you will be caught

Let the fences begone

To allow for all that is to come

plugin&play Music saves our souls
If you let me, I'd show you how to build your fences navigations are the fours lines of lyrics. they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).	Sunday, February 26, 2012, 12:18 PM Taz This whole week has been emotional torture... the loneliness just keeps adding up. Feeling as broken as you are... and coming home to an empty home and knowing that the girl that could make it all better, won't. Actions speak louder than words. I'm already in dire need of validation from you. As much as I can honestly validate your worth... when I ask the same from you... I just end up breaking more. And so maybe that's the only way for us to go... apart. And as hard as it is for me to deal with it day to day seeing as everything just causes me to break down... that's what you need from me. Always just an option... always. And I need you... to be that same girl that I first met. 2 more months... hopefully... I'll have some semblance of a heart left by then. Tuesday, February 14, 2012, 1:11 PM Taz I want you to act with integrity and compassion, and remember to use your values compass to guide you when making life’s hard decisions. And when temptation or an easier path presents itself, I want you to choose the harder road of courage rather than the easier road of escapism. I once made a commitment. And whenever I'm angry or sad, I look back and remember why. There was once a girl who made my world light up. A girl whose hand I could take and whom I hoped could feel how much I loved her through my actions. I don't know how much bursting emotion my heart can take before it's taken too much. Intolerance... in all its forms... is still intolerance. And sometimes... I wonder if you realize that your feelings towards them doesn't make you any different. It doesn't make you the better person... I hear about the injustices done to the community, and though wider social acceptance has to be practised... it is our duty to teach others. Not spurn them. Rome was not built in a day, and it makes us hypocrites by doing so. And for once, I'm ashamed... ashamed of this community I'm supposed to be a part of. Some days... I don't recognize you anymore. When you're angry, and telling me about being tired of the tolerance, about not caring what people think. And I look at you with my eyes that portray how heartbroken it makes me feel. At the end of the day, these are the people who'll always be there for you. The people who raised you, the people who have loved you unconditionally. Tolerance is a start. I would rather spend a lifetime teaching someone to be tolerant in hopes that one day they will learn to accept instead of not doing anything and having them be blind to the world. And then some days, when your anger has ebbed, I see the girl that I fell in love with. The one that once made me the happiest person ever. And today... I came to the realization that... I would be willing to lose your friendship if it could open your eyes up to an open heart. If I could look you in the eye, and tell you that even though I loved you and supported you, I do believe that you're making the hugest mistake in your life. And that, yes, though I want you back... I can't agree with everything that you say/do... Life, to me, is about being the best person I can be in the midst of it all. Being a good person, taking into consideration the people around me. The people who've always been there, the people that've been pushed/kicked away? They deserve that respect. They deserve to mean something to you. Sometimes... in our quest of being the best we can be, the hardest thing to do, is the right thing to do, even if it doesn't seem to fall into what we think we want. Wednesday, February 08, 2012, 3:49 PM Taz There are people that I can't help but admire. The ones that can take a step back and see what has happened. February 8th. Bell's Let's Talk Day. As much as I wished it were a liberating realization, it really isn't. The gradual downfall, the diminishing of our smiles and your love. You've stopped caring. And as much as I wished you could see for yourself what you've started, you're too caught up with yourself to understand that your fear has changed you. It has made you angrier, frustrated with how things aren't going your way, maddened by not being able to be happy as you so aptly put it. You've made the people around you feel like they mean nothing. Like they're the cause of all your pain and suffering. And the irony is... I'm the one that has the broken heart. And yet... that obviously pales in comparison with how much you have to go through. You used to evoke such happiness within me. That inert feeling of being joyous. The smile that naturally goes onto my face whenever you pop into my mind. The way my heart feels like bursting whenever you're affectionate. And I know... I used to do that for you. How you used to text me throughout the night. How you used to have that twinkle in your eye while you grinned at me. How you used to jump onto me and let me carry you around. How you always turned your cheek towards me so I could peck you. You were afraid that we were so involved in each others' lives. You made your choice. You pushed. Told this person to not trust you, told them that true friends would not make you feel a certain way. And somehow... it's ok when others are made to feel that way...? Instead of just letting things be, and just enjoying being with one another, you let your guilt dictate your every move. You let how you felt as a person spill into your actions. You let me take the fire for you not feeling like a good person. And as I sit there listening to how sad I make you, how angry I make you and how much you want to be happy but I'm not letting you do so... all I can wonder is... how did it get to this state? As the crack deepens, I wonder when you'll start listening to your conscience. You say it's a matter of time... but why are you letting it happen. You're intense because you're frustrated. But don't... use me as a scapegoat for the choices you've made. For breaking hearts, for your refusal to listen to your conscience, for your pride, for holding on to all your fear and letting anger cover it up. For forgetting things that are important to me, the same things that you've asked of me before. My wish that one day you'll know to not be all absorbed in yourself to see how much certain things really mean to me. To hear all those promises... and to have it be my fault that it wasn't important enough for you to remember. Or have you turn back against your word. I hope that one day... your heart will soften again. That you will stop being afraid. There is no shame in that. There is shame in being afraid and placing yourself under a shell of anger and cynicism. Your inability and refusal to deal with the realization of who you have become will become an even greater burden. You tell me about how you'll be alone, about how you'd rather that anyhow and whatnot. And even though you don't respect it nor do you understand it, and how uncomfortable it makes you feel, I tell you with all honesty from my heart "you won't ever be alone... you have a Rubby you see... someone that loves you unconditionally and will unfortunately place their own happiness second because happiness without yours is not happiness at all" No lies, just love. And I do, I do love you. Sunday, February 05, 2012, 11:44 AM Taz This is my question to you. "What is it that you truly fear?" In your anger and all that frustration, in your view of the world and how cynical you get when it comes to friendship and trust, what is it that you're trying to hide from. I know I'm liable for the amount of faith and trust I have in you, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Through all that has happened, I still, and have always seen something in you. I see through the facade you've put up. I see the shield, the one that protects you. And while I smile because I love you and who you truly are, it breaks my heart seeing you that way. It breaks my heart hearing you say you don't care when my instincts tell me otherwise. It breaks my heart seeing the struggle within because though you've told yourself that this is what you believe in, parts of you are telling you otherwise and anger breaks through as you try to deal with it. Those times at which you're a clean slate, after you've unloaded and vented. Though it makes me smile because I know you now feel better, it's a bittersweet one. The temporary reprieve at the expense of my heart. And then I look into your eyes, and I see the truth in them. I see how much you love me and I see how much we mean to one another. And all I can ask is... why are we still fighting it so hard. You're not liable for someone caring that much about you. But who's liable for the change of heart? Who's liable for not trying to make things work? It's give, take, and compromise. Everyone's liable. Not shying away from the consequences, from the responsibilities and knowing that at the end of the day, we have to be accountable. Saying we're not liable for these things... is an excuse. The world does not consist of just one person. We're all interconnected and interdependent. On a smaller scale, the world is like a giant Chemistry set. So own up. You told me that you wished that someone would enter your life and break your heart... let me tell you... that you really don't want that. That truly is, one of the worst feelings out there. Stop being afraid... of letting me back into your heart. Of being afraid of someone truly getting to know the person within. As scared as you are... it would never make me love you any less. Friday, February 03, 2012, 8:49 PM Taz Someone recently asked me... "What is it that you're hoping to achieve in your life? What is it that you truly want?" And you know, it's odd, but that's something that I have given much thought to these years. What is it that I'm hoping to achieve? A great career, accolades of some sorts, material possessions? It's a funny feeling, not being able to articulate it well enough because what I truly want to achieve isn't something that can be measured under normal circumstances... it's not anything that someone could look at and say "this person is successful". It's measured through actions, through compassion, ... through the heart. What I truly want to achieve, is the ability to go into someone's life and make an impact. The kind that helps open their hearts and eyes to beauty that's ever-present. To be able to appreciate love in all honesty, to be kind, patient, trustworthy and to let go of their anger. To have hope, while relearning what it's like to be unassuming and open. Things that cannot be taught, and can only be shown in hopes that it will rub off. I want to be able to see that pure joy again. To be able to feel her happiness and see that twinkle in her eye. To feel without a doubt that she's happy that I'm around. As strange as it may seem, I'm quite perceptive to the emotions of the people around me. And though it may not mean much, nor do much to change the situation, to know that there's someone out there who loves you as much as they do should be a comfort instead of an elephant in the room. And so when one asks me "what do you hope to achieve in life?" I can only smile while saying "Let me show you".			thedeceptionist While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive. Taz. 24. Current SFU-er. Tendency to be odd. Does not believe in conflict. Committed, in love and heartbroken. <3 theillustionist Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one. Tzen. 24. February 24th. Hyperactive, but adorable Nottingham grad. Workaholic!		partnersincrime A Krysie B Qin C Duckie D Chee E sY F Theo G Lesley H Kenny Sia wheni'mgone + June 2006 + October 2006 + May 2007 + April 2008 + May 2008 + June 2008 + October 2008 + November 2008 + December 2008 + January 2009 + February 2009 + September 2009 + March 2010 + April 2010 + May 2010 + June 2010 + July 2010 + August 2010 + October 2010 + December 2010 + February 2011 + May 2011 + July 2011 + August 2011 + September 2011 + October 2011 + November 2011 + December 2011 + January 2012 + February 2012 + March 2012 + April 2012 + May 2012 + July 2012 + August 2012 + September 2012 takeabow designer: venom ous inspiration: ++		theventingmachine Some opportunities only come once, seize them. If you don't like something, change it. Life is short, so don't live in the shadows of your fears.